Battling A Crisis of Faith and Science in My Marriage

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This story was originally sent to us as an email, and we are excited to share it with you. Because of the sensitivity of the story being shared, the author has decided to remain anonymous.

Have you ever felt like you had to choose between God and the people you love the most? I certainly did, until I found BioLogos and read Origins: Christian Perspectives on Creation, Evolution, and Intelligent Design. BioLogos renewed my faith in God, saved my marriage from a rift that could have destroyed it, and helped to heal relationships with my parents. My husband and I are both Christians, but I was raised in Christian schools, and he went to public ones. I was raised in the Baptist denomination, and he in the Assemblies of God. I hold bachelor’s degrees in English and theater and a master’s in education. He has bachelor’s degrees in physics and economics, master’s degrees in physics and engineering, and a doctoral degree in mechanical engineering. He now works as an aerospace engineer. We are about as opposite as two people can get. That can be our biggest strength, and also our greatest weakness.

Before we got married, I knew that my husband accepted evolutionary theory. That didn’t bother me much, because I merely responded with, “God could do it however he wanted, it doesn’t affect me either way.” I thought that would be the end of the discussion—problem solved. Once we got married and started looking for churches, I realized that the problem was far from resolved. His scientific mind defined his view of the world, his study of Scripture, and his comfort level in any given church. As we hunted for a church, every Sunday seemed to end in a fight. Every church had some fatal flaw and failed to meet what he hoped for. He felt very alone and misunderstood, and I was angry and frustrated. I didn’t understand why he was so discontent with churches that I found perfectly acceptable. I started to wonder if he really was a Christian, or if he had fooled me into believing a lie.

I finally realized that it all seemed to come back to his scientific way of thinking, and the biggest issue at hand was evolution. I realized that my ignorance wouldn’t fly anymore; I needed to see through his eyes. Unfortunately, the church (whether accidentally or intentionally) had taught me that studying evolution seriously was almost heresy. My studies of evolution left me feeling guilty, like I was betraying God. I felt like I had to choose between my husband and my faith. I was extremely torn, and I had no one to turn to. I struggled for a year before my husband stumbled upon the BioLogos website. I felt a small sense of relief. At least other well-educated Christians believed that evolution was true, too.

Then we found Origins, and that saved me. The arguments were so loving towards Christians of all denominations and patient with people who were just starting to figure things out. I didn’t feel judged, stupid, or afraid. The arguments addressed all my fears and concerns and reminded me that God is not afraid of our questions, that he isn’t breathing hellfire down on me for seeking the truth, because he is truth. And he is bigger than our denominational squabbles. I now feel like I can study science (which I had always loved, but felt steered away from) and grow closer to God, not further from him.

We’re now using Origins to engage our family on this topic. We have given copies to almost everyone. One of my close relatives is a staunch young-earth, “appearance-of-age” creationist. He liked to ask my husband questions about his work and then tease him about the answers. He had no interest in actually learning how the universe works. This relative meant his teasing to be innocent fun, but it was hurtful to my husband, and it was driving a wedge between them. About six months after I read Origins, we convinced this family member to read it. We expected a confrontation, but to our immense joy, he said he is enjoying it, respects the ideas being presented, and feels respected in return. He doesn’t agree with everything yet, but at least his attitude has changed. He now discusses this issues seriously and respectfully.

Now, my husband and I enjoy visiting educational museums and learning about the beautiful, intricate, orderly laws that God created so that we can live. We are reading books and taking online classes together on all kinds of scientific and religious topics. Origins gave us a common language to use with our family. This new freedom to study science has brought us closer to God and strengthened our marriage.

In Genesis, we are commanded to take care of the planet God entrusted to us. How can we do that if we don’t understand it? Why did he give us such powerful minds if he didn’t want us to use them to carry out his commands? Aren’t we supposed to love him with all our heart, MIND, soul, and strength? I finally feel like I am able to answer all of these questions, and I love God more because of it.




, Anonymous. "Battling A Crisis of Faith and Science in My Marriage" N.p., 18 Feb. 2015. Web. 12 December 2018.


, A. (2015, February 18). Battling A Crisis of Faith and Science in My Marriage
Retrieved December 12, 2018, from /blogs/archive/battling-a-crisis-of-faith-and-science-in-my-marriage

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